Arkansas Business

This story is from the archives of ArkansasSports360.com.

Jeff Long gave standard non-answer answers as much as possible when he visited the Little Rock Touchdown Club on Oct. 15. It’s a skill he prides himself on. But as we all know, often times when we are posed with questions, there are the answers we give, and the answers that stay inside our heads. Here's what we’re guessing Long was probably thinking when asked these questions last week. Think of this as Jeff Long if he had Charles Barkley's candor.

Unfortunately, we don't have a transcript of his entire Q&A with the fans, but we do know some of the questions the fans asked. We do have a transcript of the questions Long was asked by the media, so we'll share how we think he would really like to respond to those questions as well.

Does Bobby Petrino's no-compete clause stay in effect since he was fired with cause?

Let me be clear: I don't give a damn what he does. He ruined my year. You might not have noticed, but we've got a $40 million dollar hole in the ground behind the stadium in Fayetteville. I'm not an idiot, I know you guys aren't going to keep donating for a losing team, so I've got to find a good coach, convince him to come to Fayetteville, and fundraise all at the same time. My year has sucked. I hope he does go to an SEC team so he can turn into someone else's problem. Long term, that would be a competitive advantage for us.

Would a candidate who owns a motorcycle be ruled out?

Motorcycle? No. Just don't hire the mistress, and if you do, don't lie to me about it. Then we'll be cool. But bankrupt? Yeah, I'm not putting up with this mess again.

I hate the Razorbacks uniforms that aren't cardinal and white. Arkansas should always be cardinal and white. I hate that gray stuff.

Deal with it. The uniforms are for the players, recruits, and folks that buy merchandise from Hog Heaven and similar stores. In case you didn't notice, we won 49-7 in the gray jerseys. We can wear them every week if we win like that, am I right? I mean, those basketball teams from the mid 90's you guys keep telling me about had black on some of their uniforms. Look:

Keeping two games in Little Rock, yes or no?

Two things:

1. After the year I've had, you expect me to commit to things that happen after 2016? Seriously? You think I don't know that if this coaching search doesn't go well, you guys will run me out of town with torches and pitchforks? Hell, a lot of you want me gone now. So, no, I'm not too concerned with things that won’t happen for five years.

2. If I did have to make the choice today, yes, I'd absolutely move the games to Fayetteville. You guys aren't even filling up your stadium down here, and even with the pathetic student section we've got on the hill, we still have more people in the stands and look better on TV than this place does. Now, I realize I have to keep some of you happy because you've got lots of money, so what I'll probably do is offer one non-conference game to War Memorial and see if they'll take that deal. It’s not like Hog fans will drive to Fayetteville for three/four cupcakes each year anyway and I don't blame them for that. But if War Memorial says no to the deal, then they're the ones who turned it down. It's a win/win for me. But the conference game is absolutely getting moved. If you hadn't figured that out from things I've already said and done, don't know what to tell you.

Did you expect such a difficult transition to John L. Smith?

As with any change, we knew it could be bad, but of course we weren’t expecting a historically awful September. We thought he would suffice. That’s why I made the brilliant decision to hire him. Remember, the university's saving a few million dollars by having him do this thing for 850 grand. You get what you pay for. Hopefully, we can use that extra cash to help lure a good coach. Hopefully.

Was there any thought to going a different direction after the A&M game?

Not gonna lie, I started looking around at beach houses, mountain lodges, etc. Or just a Hangover-style Vegas weekend would have been nice. Something fun to get out of town. Oh, you mean by firing L? Nah. Who would we hire? And who would do it for 850k?

Are you concerned with the attention John L. Smith's bankruptcy has generated? Are you concerned how much time he's spending on it?