That Crazy Kenyan, Not (Editorial)

It turns out that President Barack Obama really was born in the United States and really is an American citizen and really is eligible to be president.
We know this because after several years of people (some of them prominent) floating all kinds of conspiracy theories, the duly elected leader of the free world (though there are some holdouts even there) released his full birth certificate, the so-called long-form version. And there it is: BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA, II. Place of birth: Honolulu. Island: Oahu. And yes, Hawaii was a state in 1961.
We also know that just as people believe alien corpses are being housed by the U.S. government somewhere in Area 51, people will continue to doubt the legitimacy of Obama's presidency.
Somewhere, a Fox Mulder for the 21st century is on the case.