It seems like every time central Arkansas has the opportunity to play host to a big event like an NCAA tournament or presidential re-election, the same ol' sites get trotted out as "things to see" and "things to do". We're not trying to belittle the Old Statehouse or the Old Mill, but we thought that maybe we could come up with some alternatives to the standbye's. So here is a list of local landmarks, tailor fitted for the fans of each school in the subregional:

AUSTIN PEAY - Supporters of this school located in Clarksville, Tenn., may get homesick for their tobacco farms near the river. We suggest stopping by the News Mart newsstand, located just past the corner of Third and Main Streets. Along with a variety of cigarettes and cigars to purchase, it's one of the few grandfathered-in places in town that isn't a liquor store where you can buy off-the-rack Tennessee bourbon. Just take it elsewhere after you purchase since loitering is definitely not tolerated.

MEMPHIS - Citizens of this hamlet on the Mississippi River are known for their love of music and barbecue. You'll find both at Corky's, a restaurant with locations in scenic west Little Rock and in North Little Rock. You'll marvel at these ribs that you can't get anywhere else, and be sure to check out the establishment's hi-fidelity speakers piping in the latest hits.

MIAMI - Hurricane fans can't get enough of the sun and sand. We suggest you walk west on the paved hiking trail that extends from downtown Argenta. You'll eventually find yourself at Cook's Landing on the banks of the mighty Arkansas River. The water may be a little chilly for your tastes, but there is plenty of dirt to play in. Fishermen can grab a pole and try to hook a catfish. If you accidentally snag a gar, just throw it on a rock and a stray cat will be by momentarily to take care of the rest.

MISSISSIPPI STATE - Starkville fans, prepare to be amazed. Spread out across the metropolis are eating places called "McDonald's". You'll be fascinated by the technology used to fulfill your gastrological indulgences: Watch as they make your hamburger from INSIDE the building. Listen as the French fry machine plays "Oye Como Va". You won't find sweet tea here, but you will be able to observe technology dispense your drink using an electronic pump device. Rest rooms are indoors as well, complete with running water.

OREGON - For our nature lovers from the northwest, most would suggest someplace mundane like Knoop Park in Hillcrest. No, we suggest you enter the woods below Knoop Park. Who needs fancy footpaths and panoramic views anyway? Stray off the beaten path, eat some of the mushrooms you'll find along the way, and soon, you'll meet the magical band of elves who live underneath the mountainside. At least they were there last time we were present, following a rave we attended in 1994.

ST. MARY'S -  We had to look this one up, but apparently St. Mary's is located outside of Oakland, Calif., if you can believe Wikipedia. Gaels fans can feel at home by hanging out at the corner of Main and Seventh Streets, mere blocks from the liquor store/newsstand. Relax next to our decorative rectangular gray skyscrapers. Have a picnic on the asphalt next to a strategically-placed parking meter. You won't see any statues of Jack London like you would at home, but you can view a poster of "Jared" inside the Subway restaurant.

TEXAS-ARLINGTON - Natives of this infamous suburb are recommended to visit Bauxite, a bustling little village caught between the folds of those bigger cities, Bryant and Benton. You'll see an impressive array of rocks that were excavated from the bowels of this town. It might not be Six Flags, but you're invited to throw rocks at an old can that has been set up for visitors inside the town square.

TEXAS - Austin, Texas, has introduced the world to snipers, George W. Bush, and South by Southwest emo bands. They also cite flying bug-eating rodents as an attraction. So Longhorn fans should enjoy driving on Interstate 30. It's a four-lane highway with a maximum speed limit of 70 mph that leads right out of the Natural State and right back into Texas. Enjoy the ride, Texas fans!