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Everyone Needs a Therapist — Even You

6 min read

Ken Clark knows better than most how lonely the C-suite can be. The licensed marriage and family therapist founded Chenal Family Therapy 15 years ago, and besides hearing from clients about the solitude senior leadership can bring, he’s experienced it himself.

“A lot of it is the isolation – somebody is frustrated with you at any given point, you’ve got to spin all these plates at once, there’s a target on your back, people are constantly second guessing you. And then you go home, and even if it’s going well there and your family is supportive, they still don’t understand,” Clark said. “Without being understood, we’re alone, and when we’re alone, we tend to choose bad things.”

The mental health challenges business leaders face run the gamut, from depression and anxiety to addiction and burnout, but therapy can offer more than just crisis intervention. Clark said taking a proactive approach to mental health care has positive benefits that extend far beyond the individual sessions, and that’s why, he said, everyone needs a therapist.

But I’m Doing Fine

Many businesspeople won’t seek mental health care until they’re experiencing a crisis, Clark said. That’s due to a number of factors – stigma, availability, regional attitudes about therapy. Waiting until that crisis hits, he said, can compound the negative outcomes.

“For most people, finding a therapist is a middle-of-the-night Google search because s— hit the fan,” said Clark. “The crisis can spiral really quick, go from bad to worse, because you don’t know what’s going on.

“And then the other thing is that people retreat to dysfunctional, or what we call maladaptive, coping mechanisms because they don’t know what to do about it.”

Steve Mosley, CEO at
Upper Right Leadership

Steve Mosley, CEO at Upper Right Leadership, a business coaching and consulting firm, says when someone is under intense stress, they’re not themselves, and others will notice.

“If you don’t manage stress productively, it’s going to be very difficult to be successful at any level. People freak out if they think their leader is freaking out,” he said.

Building a relationship with a therapist before a crisis hits can make a difference in a person’s response. Personal growth is a key long-term goal of counseling.

“Therapy keeps you limber and adaptable, able to think critically about new situations,” Clark said. “I use therapy as a compass and a map a lot of times; I’m the traveler, journeyer, but I need to hear myself talk and need an outside set of eyes to get my bearings.”

Clark said therapy sessions can also improve fundamental skills like empathy, active listening and critical thinking.

“Probably the biggest driver of leadership relationships – or romantic, family relationships – is trust, and all those skills strengthen our ability to be a trustworthy person,” he said. “All those make us safer people to be around. I think therapy strengthens everything that adds up to being a trustworthy leader.”

One can even think of their therapist as a coach or mentor helping them learn to lead better.

Business coaches are similar to therapists, Mosley said, in that they act as a sounding board for their clients. Such coaches are oftentimes former business leaders, he said, and they receive training on executive coaching, so they have a keen grasp of the issues business leaders face.

“What I do is listen a lot, ask questions appropriately, and a lot of times, either confirm what a CEO is thinking and feeling or give them some other options and tools to deal with whatever they’re facing,” he says. “We can help them think through options they might not have come up with on their own, see things in a different light.”

Coaching sessions are confidential as well, Mosley said, giving business leaders the opportunity to talk openly about their company’s successes and failures, upcoming decisions and opportunities, and stressors.

“A professional coach ought to be giving their clients a set of suggested behaviors that will allow them to deal with issues even more productively than they’re doing it right now,” Mosley said. “In that way, we’re doing something similar to what therapists, clinicians do – we’re trying to give them a healthier set of behaviors.”

But I Don’t Have Time

Life is busy, and finding time to focus on one’s mental health is often at the bottom of people’s priority lists. Technological advances and different types of counseling, however, can tailor a mental health care routine for any schedule.

“Telehealth has been a huge part of people fitting this in,” Clark said. “Instead of driving across town once a week, we do tons of therapy sessions where people are sitting in their cars at the parking deck at work.”

Many therapists offer after-hours appointments for those who can’t get away from their desks during business hours, and Clark noted that not all types of therapy necessitate an hour-long session every week.

“I’ve come to enjoy a thing called ‘intensive therapy.’ I’d rather go see a therapist for four or five hours a day for two or three days and then come back six months later,” Clark said. “You don’t spend the first 15 minutes of each hour remembering what you’re going to talk about. That second and third hour is when you really get stuff done.”

Mosley said a coaching session may last about an hour, and about 80% of that time is dedicated to listening to the client and asking them questions. By the time the final portion of the meeting arrives, if the client is transparent and forthright about any issues they’re facing, a business coach can recommend courses of action, new perspectives and referrals for other assistance.

“A good business coach has studied psychology, behavior science – why people do the things they do. But we’re not clinically trained, so when I feel someone needs a resource that goes deeper than I can, I recommend it,” Mosley says.

And when a crisis does hit, a therapist with intimate background knowledge can help more easily and quickly.

“The best time to apply for a line of credit is before you need a loan; the best time to find a therapist is when you don’t need one. You want to have that in your back pocket,” Clark said.

In 2024, stigma related to mental health conditions and care carries far less influence than it did a decade or two ago.

“In my experience, people praise, trust and pull closer to you when they find out you go to therapy, because it’s their struggle too,” Clark said. “It’s not just that they tolerate it; people are thankful and relieved you brought it up.”

Different types of counseling, coaching and therapy can help one navigate different stages of life, professional and personal relationships, and other life events and stressors. Maintaining one’s mental wellness can be compared to working out, Clark said, with the objective being mental toughness.

“Therapy is like going to the gym,” he said. “You’re going to get in shape if you do.

“You can’t not grow and get healthier if you go to therapy.”

Finding the Right Therapist

Many mental health clinics offer specialized services, like couples counseling, anger management and nutrition guidance. Depending on one’s goals for their mental health care, different types of therapy may be more beneficial than others.

Ken Clark of Chenal Family Therapy said finding the right therapist can be tricky. Besides the different specializations, every therapist has their own style, and it’s important to find someone you’re comfortable with.

“I tend to be dry and sarcastic; that’s off-putting for some people,” Clark said. “There’s no right answer; there’s only the right therapist for you.”

Once you’ve started meeting with a therapist, it can take a few sessions to get warmed up. Clark said it usually takes about three sessions to know whether a particular therapist is the right one for you.

“If you don’t find yourself vibing with a therapist in three sessions, it’s OK to look around,” he said. “If you’re not looking forward to catching up with them, look around.”

Ending a client-therapist relationship doesn’t have to be a dramatic breakup, either, Clark said. Experts in communications, most counselors will take any changes with their clients in stride.

“Just tell the therapist, ‘I think the style of what I’m needing is different.’ They’ll understand,” said Clark.

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