Heifer International, based in Little Rock, got The Onion treatment earlier this month when the parody online pub posted a commentary “by” billionaire investor Warren Buffett (did we mention The Onion is a parody website?) headlined “When I Die, My Entire Fortune Will Be Donated To Charity, Except The $40 Billion I Will Have Buried With Me.”
Buffett’s commentary outlined the worthy causes he planned to provide for on his death:
“I have made careful arrangements to ensure that my wealth is distributed to the charitable organizations that matter most to me. From my $72 billion fortune, $8 billion will go to the Sherwood Foundation to promote equality through social justice, $6.5 billion will go toward empowering women and girls through the NoVo Foundation, $5 billion will go to the GAVI Alliance to expand childhood immunization, $7 billion will go to Heifer International and the World Food Programme to help small farmers, and $5.5 billion will go to Save the Children.”
The kicker?
“The rest will be stacked around my dead body in towers of $100 bills and gold bullion.”
Buffett goes on to challenge “everyone with a net worth of over $1 billion to do the same. Michael Bloomberg, Carlos Slim, and other members of the 1 percent, I’m speaking to you directly.”
Your Whispers staff doesn’t know how The Onion decided which charities, all of which are legitimate nonprofits, the folksy financial genius should reward with his billions. And though it’s a parody, Buffett could do much worse than lavish his wealth on Heifer. We suggest, however, that he might want to rethink his plans for that $40 billion shroud.
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